The science is in. I heard it on the 10pm news so it must be true. Cursing helps you live a longer, healthier, happier and more productive life. This is fu**ing awesome news!
Perhaps that’s gilding the lily just a tad but letting a ripe four letter word, or a string of them, rip, may be the easiest way to lower blood pressure and elevate the endorphins. Who’s not in favor of elevated endorphins? Spreading those feel good vibes is a win-win for everyone.
When something really ticks you off, like when an ass**!@ cuts you off and flips you the bird, don’t hold back, let it fly. The key is not to get carried away. Scientists say overdoing it decreases the effectiveness. Did they actually get paid to run these tests? Too much of any good thing invariably leads to ruin. This is as obvious as sticking your middle finger in the air.
Truth be told, I was raised not to curse. Cursing was a sin, which led to the dreaded confessional, whereby I had to tell the priest that I called my older brother truly ugly names. I let the priest know that the profane name calling was justified and encouraged him to confirm this with my younger brother who was waiting in line behind me. The persuasive, albeit others may say argumentative, lawyer side of me blossomed at an early age. It did not, however, reduce the number of Hail Mary’s or Our Father’s for my penance. Trying to be a good (Catholic) girl, I suppressed my urge to curse. At least in public.
While listening to the newscast, I wondered if cursing in private had the same endorphin releasing effect. According to the experts on TV, it does! Cursing in a stressful situation promotes healing and builds pain tolerance. One scientist deduced this after watching his wife give birth. Not exactly an Einstein, that one. Another study had a few hundred subjects stick their hands in ice cold water. Half had to grin and bear it. The other half got to yell obscenities. The ones who cursed were able to leave their hands in the ice bath for several minutes longer. Maybe the cursing distracted them, maybe it built character but the bottom line is that they felt better. I get it. When I burn my hand on the stove you can bet that I don’t yell, “oh gosh darn, fiddlesticks or shoot.”
There’s a great article about Helen Mirren, an inspiring dame and actress, who’s sage advice was to say, “Fu** off” more in life. She regretted being too polite and encouraged all women to utilize those empowering words. http://tinyurl.com/hbsa4s3
I wish I read this years ago. Take for example the clothing sale at my yoga studio. I was happily rifling through the yoga pants, searching for a pair that was not going to encase me like a sausage or make me look like an extra in a Gandhi movie. A thin yogi next to me passed me a pair of extra-large pants. What did I do? Nothing, I froze. I may have even thanked her for her tactlessness. What I should have said, was a rift on the standard yoga greeting, Namaste, pronounced, Nah-mas-tay.
“Nama, fu**ing, ste you skinny bi!@*. Go get another fu**ing colonic!”
OK, maybe that would have been overdoing it. But next time I’ll settle for a resounding,
Empowerment, here I come.