I’m game for just about anything that gets the cranky parts moving again.
The Tin Man, one of my beloved characters from the Wizard of Oz, captured my heart when he mumbled, oil can. Dorothy came to his rescue and lubed up all his rusted parts. The Tin Man’s face lit up with sheer joy when she unhinged his mouth and he was finally able to talk again. Being an inveterate chit chatter, not being able to BS would be the cruelest fate. Cue the Big Irishman, hubby, light of my life, and ball and chain, laughing in the back ground.
As much as he teases me about my ability to conversate, the Big Irishman actually admires this skill. OK readers, don’t go all grammar police on me. I know conversate is not a real word. But I added it to my lexicon many moons ago, after an especially insightful court appearance when a young witness testified about conversating on the corner. Why bother saying, I was having a conversation, when you can cut to the chase with, I was conversating. It’s contemporary, rolls off the tongue and draws the listener in.
But anyway, I digress. Trust me, by the end of this blog piece, the oil can and the blissful expression comes full circle.
My bestie Laynie, from Oklahoma, swears she avoided double knee replacement because of the wonder supplement, Hyaluronic Acid. I got the Big Irishman, who destroyed his knees with his years playing basketball, to take it. I jumped on the band wagon because it’s supposed to be great for your skin. So, when the GNC flyer arrived in the mail advertising, buy one- get -one- 50% off, I went to stock up.
The GNC store was empty except for a very young and very fit salesclerk. I grabbed two bottles of Hyaluronic Acid and looked around for more deals The young lad recommended fish oil. I selected a large bottle but needed another product so I could get my 50% off deal.
Then it hit me.
“Oh! Where’s the coconut oil?!”
The poster boy for health and fitness ushered me over to the coconut oil shelf. Who knew there were so many choices?
“This is exactly what I need! Just last week I was conversating with my….”
Suddenly my mouth clamped shut tighter than the Tin Man before his lube job. I started making creaky, inarticulate sounds. The poor kid looked like he wanted to dole out some fish oil capsules to get my cerebral juices flowing.
“Coconut oil is filled with antioxidants and is great for the immune system,” He gushed. “Plus you can add it to smoothies and even cook with it.”
I nodded wordlessly. I’d endure lock jaw the remainder of my living days before sharing my doctor’s sage advice about the wonders of coconut oil with the salesclerk who was probably a few years older than my teenage son.
Suffice it to say that her advice had nothing to do with making a coconut-curry stir fry.
“Do you want the solid form or the pure liquid? The solid form you can spread on just about anything.”
“Mmmm, you don’t say….” I mumbled.
I bypassed a jar called, I kid you not, Coconut Manna, because while heavenly was what I was after, extra fiber was not, and opted for an organic brand. I quickly paid, and hightailed it out of there.
I’m happy to report that the Tin Man would have been ecstatic. But as much as I love to conversate, next time I’ll just order on line.